Johnny Depp was found dead in his home late Friday, according to
reports. The cause of death is as yet unknown. depp, 46, was discovered
by long time partner Vanessa Paradis. There is speculation that his
death was caused by…. ah, hell, it doesn’t matter. It’s just another
lame article about a rumored celebrity death. Just likeEminem, Miley
Cyrus, and about a million other celebrities. Half of these people
sucked , and we hadn’t heard from some of them since we stopped caring.
Brittany Murphy? Did anyone of us actually shed a tear over her?
Yeah, it was sad in that vague “someone I don’t know died” kind of way,
but come on.
Especially
famous people. It doesn’t matter if it’s some dude that was on the Wonder Years
for 3 weeks… dammit, we want to know when they kick the bucket. Kind
of f*cked up, ain’t it? But we do. It’s the reason you clicked on this
stupid link. You knew full well Johnny Depp wasn’t dead. The guy is
celebrity royalty. They’d be talking about that sh*t on PBS. It would
be on the radio every 3 minutes. Popular as he is, there’d be people
crying on tv. So you knew. but you clicked… just in case. And you
will when someone else pops up dead in two or three days. Because we want to know we’re alive, maybe?
If so, it’s a good way to get it out of our systems. But
it isn’t something we want others to know that we do. Which is why, if
you look below, you’ll see damn near 200 comments, most of them
obscenely offended, and rather righteous. They don’t care that I
inferred that JohnnyDepp might have died. They don’t know him, or
anyone remotely related to him. They aren’t even really indignant.
They’re embarrassed. They got caught with their pants down in public.
They were filling that evil little vice, and got bluffed. Hand in the
cookie jar. Mad, mad, mad. And so I get people wishing death to my
family over a subject no one actually ever really cared about. And I’m
the jerk. If you knew just how many people have viewed this article,
you’d realize that I’m not the problem. If youclicked onto this
article, you’re the problem. At least if you’re one of the ones
complaining.
